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Estate Planning: Single Parent With Children

March 12, 2013

Being a single parent is not easy.  There are many logistical challenges that parents who have a partner rarely experience.  Work-life balance is more of a tightrope walk or simply a thing of the past.  With so many people pulling you in so many directions, the nagging voice in your head saying, “you really do need a Will now” can be easy to ignore.  However, as a single parent having an estate plan is even more important.

There are several reasons why you might be a single parent: your partner has died, or never had legal rights (think egg/sperm donor, NOT absentee parent); you are divorced or separated but your partner is still alive; or your marriage is not legally recognized in Minnesota.  Next week I will be discussing the unmarried couple (gay/lesbian couples and unmarried heterosexual couples), so this post will focus on the first two scenarios: either you are your children’s only living legal parent, or there is another parent living, just not with you.

For parents whose children do not have another living legal parent, having an estate plan is crucial.  I cannot emphasize HOW IMPORTANT a Will designating a guardian and/or conservator for your children is – I can only use CAPITAL LETTERS to show the importance.  To put it bluntly, you are the “last line of defense.”  If something happens to you, it is very uncertain what will happen to your children.  This is why a Will is essential.

A Will designates who you want caring for your children’s day-to-day needs if something happens to you.  This is called a guardian.  You can also designate a conservator for your children.  This person takes care of the finances for your children (life insurance, retirement, the house you may have left for your children’s care).   The guardian and conservator can be the same person, or different people.  The Will can also set up a Trust to help the financial well-being of your children.  While the other estate planning documents (Power of Attorney, Health Care Directive) are important, the Will is the most important.

If you are a parent whose children have another legal living parent – that person just doesn’t live with you anymore – an estate plan is also very important.  Not so much to care for your children should something happen to you, but what happens to your “stuff.”

If you have divorced and used to have an estate plan, now is the time to update your estate plan.  You may not want your ex-spouse inheriting all your assets.  While some of the designations are now void (cancelled) because you are divorced, not all are and it is a good idea to update all of them.  It is important to update your beneficiary designations (on life insurance or retirement, for example) and re-title any assets (house, car) per your divorce decree.

While you are not the “last line of defense” for your children right now, you could be in the future.  Setting up new guardians and/or conservators for your children is important.  Maybe you never liked in your previous Will that if something happened to you and your wife the kids would go to her brother; now you can change that.  If something happens to you and the children still have a living parent, generally the children will live with the surviving parent.  However, it is still important to name a guardian – whether it is your ex-spouse first (hey, she’s still the kids’ mom) and a relative/family friend second, or name that relative/family friend first.

Writing a Will and coming up with an Estate Plan is hard work.  It can be emotionally draining, thinking about what might happen if you die when your kids are young.  But it is very important work, and essential for every parent to have.

Contact Claire Tralle today to discuss your Estate Planning goals, by phone: 612-787-2553, or by email: Claire@trallelaw.com.